Shower Thoughts

Random "shower thoughts" to ponder.

If you came looking for thoughts that made you need to take a cold shower then sorry to disappoint you! … Many people have some of their smartest and most creative ideas in the shower, as well as some of their most profound philosophical thoughts.
If a tomato is a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?
When you’re alone in a room, you’re the only person in the world who can see what you can.
Our jaws can only bite upwards. So you can’t actually bite down.
The sun you see everyday is the same sun anything to ever live has seen.
Theme parks can snap a crystal clear picture of you on a roller coaster at 70 mph, but bank cameras can’t get a clear shot of a robber standing still.
What if the voice in our head is someone from a parallel universe trying to help us survive?
When we’re young, we sneak out of our houses to parties. When we’re old, we sneak out of parties to go home.
Why is the pizza box a square if the pizza is a circle and the slice is a triangle?
Are oranges named oranges because oranges are orange, or is orange named orange because oranges are orange?

Randomly hearing your favourite song on the radio is more satisfying than playing it directly from your device.

“Go to bed, you’ll feel better in the morning” is the human version of “Did you turn it off and turn it back on again?”

Maybe plants are really farming us, giving us oxygen until we eventually expire and turn into mulch which they can consume.

Theme parks can snap a crystal clear picture of you on a roller coaster at 70 mph, but bank cameras can’t get a clear shot of a robber standing still.

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

Lawyers hope you get sued, doctors hope you get sick, cops hope you’re criminal, mechanics hope you have car trouble, but only a thief wishes prosperity for you.

As a kid my parents taught me to not believe everything I see on TV, now I have to teach them to not believe everything they see on Facebook.

The Olympics should have a ‘For Fun’ section at the end of all the games so all the athletes can try different sports.

Tall people are expected to use their reach to help shorter people, but if a tall person were to ask a short person to hand them something they dropped on the floor it’d be insulting.

What if Earth is like one of those uncontacted tribes in South America, like the whole Galaxy knows we’re here but they’ve agreed not to contact us until we figure it out for ourselves.

If I get up 10 minutes earlier than usual, I treat it like 2 extra hours and end up late for work.

If someone offered to pay for my food and rent for the next 18 years, I’d do anything they ask of me. But I complained every time I took the trash out while living at my parent’s house.

Aliens invaded the Moon on July 20th, 1969.

When you say ‘Forward’ or ‘Back’, your lips move in those directions.

Instead of colourising photos, in 50 years we will be removing filters.

Tobacco companies kill their best customers and condom companies kill their future customers.
When a company offers me a better price after I cancel their subscription, they’re just admitting they were overcharging me.
Somewhere in the world, there is somebody with your dream job that hates going to work everyday.
Christmas feels more like a deadline than a holiday.
“DO NOT TOUCH” would probably be a really unsettling thing to read in braille.
Vehicles today can surf the web, link to your phone, stream music and videos, etc.. but they still can’t perform a simple database lookup to tell you what the check engine light is on for.
People who are goodlooking but have terrible personalities are basically real life click baits.
Last night my friend asked to use a USB port to charge his cigarette, but I was using it to charge my book. The future is stupid.
When people think about travelling to the past, they worry about accidentally changing the present, but no one in the present really thinks they can radically change the future.
When you drink alcohol you are just borrowing happiness from tomorrow.
There should be a millenial edition of Monopoly where you just walk round the board paying rent, never able to buy anything.
When I bake bread, I give thousands of yest organisms false hope by feeding them sugar, before ruthlessly baking them to death in an oven and eating their corpses.
Gyms should have memberships where your fee goes down based on how often you go.
My dog understand several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.
Nothing is on fire, fire is on things.
Someone who says “I’ll be there in 6 minutes” will normally arrive before someone who says “I will be there in 5 minutes”.
We will continuously update this page periodically with new shower thoughts. *New thoughts will be added to the top.